Assessing fears, pushing the perimeter, and kelly rae's ecourse

speaking of fears is really a fear in itself....no?

i am taking Kelly Rae's e-course for the next 5 weeks. and already she has given me courage to even talk about my fears and stating my goals out loud. i tend to keep my goals in the under dwellings of my soul. they are there but who am i to share them with the world? i fear if i do, i will most certainly not obtain them. why does my psyche operate this way? i'm sure others feel this too.....and its got a powerful hold over me. 

kelly rae has so gently led us push the perimeter further and toe the line with our fears one at a time. she also stated that this may take some time and i can appreciate that. it doesn't happen overnight. she is so wise. i admire her openness and nurturing spirit.

something about that girl in me long ago, is struggling to be freed. i always felt, as a child, i was a big dreamer. maybe that is why i am revisiting that child as often as i can to gain access to being fearless once again. over the weekend, i had the opportunity to visit with family and they shared something i had never seen.......me on 8mm film. i was 8 or 9. we were in my granny's backyard next to the clothesline. she had bought a watermelon and everyone was anxiously awaiting a visit from our relatives during the summer. and all of a sudden....there was that girl. someone in the group said there you are!! and i was like wait...."what?!?" i entered the screen riding on my banana seat big-handle-bar bike, dismounted like a pro without stopping the bike and gave the camera a huge cheesy grin. i had on red and yellow sneakers to go with my red shorts, and black tube socks. i thought i was something!!...ha! i then proceeded to take a bite of watermelon and spit the seeds at my cousin, Shawn who was a couple years older than me.......

i then thought to myself, i sure was a go-getter and not afraid of anything!!! i then began to think, why can't i be as fearless as i once was? is it because real life gets in the way?  is it because, "you can't get a job majoring in art, so you better major in something practical so that you can get a real job"...??

after graduating college my gears started to shift....i felt like there was something that i would be doing, a business that i would lead myself, but i didn't know what it was. were they not there all along? i think so. i remembering visiting the art gallery in college and thinking "i would so do this if i could make a living doing it" i was afraid of course. afraid of failure.

and here i am today, living my dream of being a full-time artist for the past 2 years. i am content, yet i'm afraid to share with you my goals and new fears as an artist. they are personal. kelly rae says that once you say them out loud, they aren't as hard to face. and i will do it but it will take a bit of time. and it isn't that i'm not happy, but striving for more has always been in blood. i think i'll take baby steps (as she suggested) and continue on from there.

me at five (and my cheesy grin)

you, the blues, and finding light again

I have not posted here in a while. I struggle when it comes to finding the right words when things are not rosy. My grandpa has been in the hospital the couple of weeks. He had a five bypass heart surgery and has been in rehab the last couple of days to gain his strength. He actually isn't my grandpa but he's been married to my grandma for the past 11 years. His name is Noal Cranford. And he's been really the only grandpa figure in my life besides my grandma's 2nd husband, Dwayne who passed away 13 years ago. Isn't it amazing who you consider family? Sometimes family is not by blood, indeed.

I am once inspired by Jennifer's words of late. To be you!

As I sit here today, I am renewed by her words. I have been feeling a bit of the blahs (or the blues as i like to call it). I couldn't pin-point it. I don't know what happened the last few days....i don't know if it was all the hospital visits that left me drained, recently getting sick myself, or if its a feeling of not being able to get out and run as much as I'm used to.......but something was there. the thought of getting in the studio felt like "work".....i wasn't looking forward to it. it was as if it was too tasking of a thought to create. Thankfully, the blahs only lasted about a week. Yesterday, i had a bit of resurgence and today even more magic was sent rushing through me with the uplifting words by Jennifer. Its not the first time that she has touched my soul and sent light just when darkness was starting to cloud me.

other bursts of light that seemed to brighten me up were seeing my grandpa walk and ride the bike today and doing an encaustic demo last night. funny how the universe has a way of balancing you. and yesterday.....well yesterday i "forced" myself to go into the studio. and i said i would just sit there if that was all that i did. well i didn't just sit there.....i painted, i felt renewed. and today i feel i've "snapped out of it". i feel normal again. back to my bubbly "wanttopaint" self.

here is my first painting video. i did this painting in roughly 15 minutes. a learning experience.....most definitely. i am still trying to find the perfect video editing software that can "speed up" the video......


15min painting from mindy lacefield on Vimeo.






the music is by larkin poe. they are brillant. and i have had the awesome opportunity to paint their spring, summer, and upcoming fall and winter cd covers.....holy moses, that makes me happy.  if i could put music to my paintings, it would be them. I guess they felt the same way...vice/versa.....:-) but it totally works....yeah?!?





and i am so excited to show you the image of the spring cd cover art!!!

from larkinpoe.com "Larkin Poe: the name of our great-great-great-grandfather; a man who survives in the memories and hearts of succeeding generations; a legend, a tall tale, a truly everlasting story. Just the thing that we hope to become."

Family

my unearth/unfurl family -

I just found out that a reunion is in order for november!!! i'm so darn happy and excited. i feel i have drawn even closer to everyone so much even after we said our tear-filled goodbyes. i think a wonderful seed was planted there on that oregon coast. and that's really all it took, didn't it? connections so strong i most certainly call them my family. There was so much love (thanks viv for the photo)

....words cannot describe.

photo by kelly barton

so now lets

photo by kate daniel

and let that seed unfurl

Photo credit: Jennifer Belthoff

A huge special thanks to Danielle

photo by Valerie Tookes

and Liz

 

photo by Kirsten Mead

for getting us back together. I love the message of unfurl and i love you guys!!!

photo by: Patty Waite

Sara's Snowbird

A couple of weeks ago, someone sent me a photo of the cutest baby snowbird and i immediately had the desire to paint him. he spoke to me of innocence and charm. after i finished the painting, i kept going back and re-visiting this little guy and adding simple touches and a little wax for texture. i knew that he was special and that i was so drawn to this bird not only because i was inspired by the photo but that it brought me something that i could not yet put my finger on. one day, as i strolled into my studio after a run, i immediately thought of Sara.

Sara was a flight attendant on flight 11 on 9-11. This was the first plane to crash into the north tower.

Sara and I ran track together in our hometown of Batesville, AR and we ran on the same relay team together (the 800 meter relay) I remember how brilliantly fast she was and totally admired her quiet confidence and poise. She was a cheerleader and I a basketball player........i had a friend describe Sara as one of those cheerleaders that didn't run out of the way when a loose basketball came hurdling in at her. Sara was an amazing runner and the most beautiful person inside and out. I will never forget the time when Sara and I were warming up for a race in the infield of the track and i expressed how nervous and unsure i was of myself and she looked me straight in the eye and simply said, "Mindy, there is no reason you should be nervous! you are gonna do awesome!" It was a simple statement, but when i saw that look in her eye of the confidence she saw in me, i started to believe it myself. I remember her smile and that day like it was yesterday.


50 percent of the proceeds of this print will go to the Independence county humane society (in batesville). you see Sara had a real love of all animals, as do i so i found it only fitting to give to those animals that are in need.

The Sara Low Pin came about in 2004 through the Family Assistance Foundation and is worn all over the world by military, flight attendants, and other people that want to remember.

That day upon returning from that run, in that snowbird painting, i saw this pin. The soft blues and whites and knew that the Low family would own the original. I had been wanting to paint something for them for a while, but I didn't know how to express my feelings of sympathy to them through paint. keep your hearts open. you never know where inspiration will take you. i didn't realize or expect it....i just knew that i was drawn to him.

A lovely sweet customer of mine, Melanie sent me this photo. Thank you Melanie!
 (source of the photo is here)



Sara Elizabeth Low - American Airlines flight attendant

Every September, we run for and in memory at the Sara Low Memorial 5k.  Click on the link if you are interested in participating in the 4th annual 5k. This year it will be held on Sat, September 11th at the Batesville High School.  A memorial is held at 7:40 promptly followed by the starting gun of the race. The 5k course is much of what Sara and I trained on as a precursor to track season and is a challenging, hilly course full of character......one that exemplifies Sara's tenacity, charm, and wit. The course ends with an ascent of a most challenging hill and then to cross the finish line on the track while BHS cheerleaders and awesome Band cheer you to the finish. One aspect i love about this race is that as you climb that last hill, you can hear the band in the distance and it gives you new wings.........................................................and i suspect i know the reason why.

I love you Sara.