Inner Child

Yesterday was a doozy of a day with my therapy session. Physically and emotional wore me out but maybe it is a good thing. I feel renewed and refreshed today. Maybe that is part of the healing.

I woke up with these words:

I am working on mothering my inner child.
I don't have to be controlled, manipulated, or have it all together.
I don't have to be the responsible one.


I don't have to be afraid all the time.
Afraid that i'm "not there" for you to confide in.
Acting as your peer at 8 years old.

I am gentle with her.
I have something inside of me that can feel loved.
I want to be protected and free to be a child.
I must give myself this gentleness and freedom.
And to just play.

I am not happy with you God that you allowed this childhood.
I must have skipped a step when declaring "this beautiful gift" of brokenness.
So perhaps a wrestle is in order. *
Maybe you will give me a new name.
A name that means Freedom.


(*inspired by scripture Genesis 32 when Jacob wrestles with God and is given a new name)



So no, I can't "be there" for anyone right now. I have much work to do on myself. Much conversation with God.
I don't want this to be what defines me anymore. It's almost as if I am "proud" that I survived it. Thanked God for the gift.
I want to be defined now through the light of Christ. I want to be held gently in His hands. I want to be in the depths of His stillness and Peace. Because that is my true self. She is 8 years old.
Standing in front of God begging him for Peace.

Comments

  1. I love you, Mindy! Sending you much peace and love and you rest in His Grace. Your sharing is a blessing to so many.

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  2. Oh I can relate to so much for what you share here. Yes the self parenting and healing is utterly vital. The inner work is really all there is …. and to keep Loving..inwardly and out.
    It has certainly been a year for it.
    Blessings of beauty always, Cat xo

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  3. I just pray a huge blanket of love and healing surround this community of creative women now and always, and that we use our gifts to further His kingdom. I can already feel it right here, right now. Thank you, Mindy.

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  4. Sending Love & Hugs to you sweet girl! Know you brighten my day and many others. Your talent and presence is a true blessing to the world. We all have to stop and catch our breath at times in order to move forward. Search for peace inside with meditation and remember to move on with the flow of life. xoxoxo

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  5. It takes a lifetime to heal, happy your on the way. Your sweet girls bring peace and happiness to me, thank you.

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  7. I love you sweet dear friend, thanks for sharing such a tender, beautiful rawness. xoxo

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  8. Aww my friend I love this. I pray your healing will be peaceful and full of new found joy. Your sweet tender spirit comes through in your art and its beautiful. I love you

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  9. Sending you lots of love and hugs dear Mindy, I hope peace finds you and your beautiful child spirit can be happy xoxo

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  10. Beautifully said. Praying for peace and sending love. <3

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  11. Having grown up with an abusive father, I absolutely love this! I'm always praying for inner peace.

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  12. To my dearest sister in Christ, thank you for all the love and gifts that you have given me over the last few years. Through you I rediscovered my creativity and found an amazing world wide web of friends, the like of which this lonely little girl never knew...
    It is your time to know the unconditional love that comes from within; knowing your sweet inner child was known & loved by your Heavenly Father, even before you were formed in your mother's womb.
    I really pray that you will find her and love her, exactly as you deserve to be loved, wholeheartedly.
    Mindy, even though we have never met, I love you.
    You are the sister that I never had, and I will be forever grateful that Our Father united us through your God given gift. Gentle hugs sweet girl,
    Sue xx xx

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  13. Mindy, what a beautiful work you are doing with that precious little girl inside. If you are not familiar with what they are doing, I *highly* recommend you check out the newly released videos of the Restoration of the Heart conference from Ransomed Heart Ministries. I think you will find great therapeutic value in their approach of counseling and inner healing. Much love to you!

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  14. dear mindy thank you for your open heartness....it's in a way soothing to know that we're all on our way to understand where it all began, with that eight year old starting to grasp life and reacting to it....you have so much to give (and I'm receiving so many of your gifts) and you alreadu did as an eight year old.....love, anja

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  15. Mindy, it is truly amazing how we connect so "randomly" as we walk similar paths. I, too, am going through therapy.. To attend to my younger self at 7/8. My trauma therapist specializes in EMDR.. And Monday, we had a pretty big break through.. Which is always followed by ... The aftermath, but over the last year and a half, the "aftermath" is not as debilitating. I don't know if this helps at all, but I hope so. I haven't been able to paint, however.. But I'm still watching the 24 workshops, hoping to be able to pick up the paintbrush again soon. Much love xoxo

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