Friday, April 1, 2016

New Journal work

I am feeling a need to get back into my journal.....and just staying off of all the different types of social media. This vulnerable feeling comes up every so often and it seems that Facebook is where I feel most raw and exposed. I sometimes feel too available...too at the tips of I am coming here to share my art with you. To share my feelings the best way I know how.

It's at these times, I realize that I am evolving. I crave solitude in its most raw form. To be away from the talk with The void out all else. To escape into nature where I hear His voice more clearly. 

Have you ever felt this need?

I feel I am talking to God without words. Stillness (through mind) and working with paint (through hands) is how He likes to talk to me. And He sometimes shows up in words when I am open and flowing.

You see as a child....manipulation, fear, and guilt were utilized. And they are still trying their best to use them on me to this date. I am realizing that those things do not belong here. They are like a square peg trying to go into a round hole. I don't have to carry around worry. I do not have to carry around fear. I do not have to carry around guilt. I do not have to carry it around because it does not belong to me. These things dim the light with a veil of darkness that makes me sick to my stomach.

Yes, I have allowed it in the it had my name all over it to fix.  I've been put in the middle of it (yes by my own allowing...I'll own that)...pulled between......"oh Mindy will say something that will fix everything".......and "oh if Mindy were here things would be different". I can't fix what needs to be fixed. I can pray. Geesh, sometimes I don't even know what to pray but I pray that I can pray what needs to be prayed. It is complicated and messy. It is a life that I grew up in and I refuse to let it be my life now. It is not mine. I have created a creative, lit, happy life.....where the light is shining.

I am carrying around this light and that square peg....well I don't even have to acknowledge it anymore. Because now I am free. Because of forgiveness. Because of the love of Christ. With Him there are only round holes of love. And I will love anyway. And I will Trust. I will continue this journey of life with Light.....and round holes....and love....and faith....and all the colors of the rainbow. Because this is the path he laid for me. What a detriment to follow a path of worry, drama, defeat, guilt, and shame when His path is so clear.

I love this quote from A Course in Miracles: "Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the Peace of God".

Here are my reals:
Poodles... :-D
Talks with God through stillness and paint

I'm holding up my reals and yelling as loud as I can.....these cannot be threatened!!!!

Here are some things you can do when you feel the gremlins and fear coming after you:

  • donate to a cause
  • send a friend a letter through the mail (or a package of neat stuff that they love)
  • go for a walk 
  • cuddle your animals (if you have them. if you don't go visit friends that have them. cuddle)
  • pray
  • paint and silence that voice
  • write and silence that voice
  • give a compliment to a stranger
  • buy the car behind you coffee
meanwhile those voices, gremlins, and fear don't know where or what to do because they don't belong in the above activities. They are immediately silenced!

Please share with me your reals and what you are grateful for in your life.....

Please also share with me, what happy things you do to ward off these fears and worries and gremlin voices.....


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